Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
