I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
