Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
