Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
He's a Shit stain on my heart
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
