Already got asked if we're dating
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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