I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize