I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Text me some of your sweat
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
