I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
if i died would you start the facebook group?
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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