Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize