there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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