He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
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