I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Randomize
