Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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