I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize