yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
pop tarts are not kleenex
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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