I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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