oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
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