I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
