I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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