Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
