i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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