I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
There's always time for handjobs
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
