I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
