When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
