State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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