Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
