beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize