Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
high people should be assigned attendants
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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