that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
