I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
