I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Randomize
