just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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