Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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