Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
