But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
