quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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