It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
