"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
