dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
