i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I still have a little drunk in my system
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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