You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
