playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
