So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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