There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
