I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize