He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
