In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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