your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize