He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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