I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
