How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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