There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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