yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
