It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
