well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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