If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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