I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
